An excellent dog

TG posted this on my Facebook wall today: Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened --Anatole France

I was having a good day until I read it.

My tri training partner & closest friend said yesterday 'Kuro was the love of your life.' Yes. I suppose he was. It feels as if he was - is - part of me on a cellular level. His persona, his energy, his spirit, his essence is still in me. An acquaintance said 'he's your heart dog.'

That he is.

Grief is like guerrilla warfare, complete with unexpected raids, ambushes and elements of surprise. It attacks with extraordinary mobility, striking this vulnerable target. The difference: guerrilla fighters can withdraw with astonishing speed. My grief about losing Kuro lasts, a slowly receding tide.

The four year old in me wants to kick and scream and throw a tantrum until I get what I want. Damnable that I can't have it (either the tantrum or, especially, my beloved boy)

I miss you, K.

2010 SkinnyMan

Competed in my 10th sprint triathlon of the season today. Two more on the schedule.

Local hero and tri-store owner Nick Lehecka took 1st place overall, beating out last year's winner by 2 seconds. Nick trains 20-25 hours a week, and often leads lake swims or group bikes for the 'Big Dog' triathletes, particularly the young bucks in the area.

I missed last year's Skinny. I'd registered, though I felt lousy the morning of the event. Got into town, where I was picking up a friend to spectate. By the time I arrived at his place, I was feeling really queasy. I sent him in, turned around, and made it home. Walking into the house food poisoning caught up with me. I spent the day alternately sleeping and vomiting.

Today's results were much better. I actually made it to the race and competed. While my own finish is no where near Nick's stellar performance, I was happy: I knocked over a minute off my '08 swim time and about a minute and a half off the bike. The run - as usual - slow. I've got to fix this hip problem! And train for running!

So I'm pretty happy. One irritation: I came into T2 to find someone had racked their bike where mine was supposed to go. I had to yank the usurper out of my spot and leave it on the grass. The bikes were not well numbered. Had they been, I'd have mentioned it to an official.

The food was pretty lousy, too -- stale bagels and dried out fruit that had been left out for flies to land. While a local restaurant was supplying pizza, there were insufficient amounts for the hordes of starving athletes.

The weather held! Hurricane Earl is galloping up the east coast, so the day, which started out clear and cool, turned windy and overcast. It didn't start to rain until the run, however. There was another shower as I was leaving transition, which soaked all of us -- next time, pack a slicker.

Beloved

I emailed my sister about a time, last fall, when Kuro and I had a wrangle about whether he was coming inside or not. It was cooler out, and I wanted him to come in, concerned about his comfort and health. He clearly did *not* want to be in the house.

"You're coming inside."
'No, I'm not.'
"Kuro, you need to come in NOW!"
'I want to stay OUTSIDE!'

I could see him thinking. He was quite clever with his compromise. He walked over and stood by our station wagon, parked under the trees in front of the house.

I swear, he said just by his look 'Ill stay in here but I'm NOT coming inside.' He even put one paw up on the bumper.

I opened the tailgate,boosted him into the car, & watched as he settled down on the dog bed in the back. He stayed in the Volvo over 3 hours, tailgate open, enjoying 'being outside' yet sheltered and comfortable.

Had he been a younger, more robust dog, I'd have made him listen to me. At that point, he was so old I was indulging him shamelessly. I was just happy to be able to help him find contentment.

The same sister emailed me 'you'd live in a shack if you could still have Kuro man with you.' As long as it was weatherproof and safe for dogs, she's right.

Refunded

Just checked my on-line Discover account.
Refund has been processed.
Pudding!

Pudding

A week ago today, I met with Bill Horne & Jay Harvey at the vet school. I know I've been remiss in posting the outcome of The Big Meeting. I've pulled up this blog site innumerable times, and each time I have, I've been incapable - literally - of updating it. I'm still not certain why.

In part it's because I'm waiting.

I was pleasantly surprised at Dr. Horne's seeming honesty. I cannot stop from interjecting the descriptor 'seeming.' Perhaps I am too jaded and cynical -- left over doubts from my work in animal rescue and Corporate America.

Horne showed me the paperwork where it was clearly written that I had indicated The White Dog should be euthanized if she needed a complex GI surgery. On one hand, I am thrilled and happy beyond description that my PTS order was overlooked? Over-ridden?

Nonetheless, that stark, brutal word 'euthanize' screamed up from the paperwork.

To a certain extent, I feel vindicated. Two plus months of wrangling to find that I actually am not crazy (at least about this). I had, indeed, communicated clearly. So clearly, in fact, that the intake doc had used that lethal word.

Somewhere, in the '15 levels of communication' that get involved at Cornell, my intent had gotten distorted, transposed, ignored. (15 layers at 2:30 in the morning? The intake vet told me he was speaking "directly" with the surgeon.) It's not my responsibility to figure out where the message got lost (and I suspect the vet school won't spend any time figuring this out, either), but the fact it did reflects poorly on the school.

The bottom line is this: I am willing to pay for half of the bill. Cornell is responsible for the other half. Horne agreed to this. I'm waiting to see when (if) that is reflected on my Discover statement.

Horne also offered to have The White Dog treated by the gastro-enterologists for the intermittent diarrhea she's had. And that if she had another case of intussception again, Cornell would do the surgery gratis.

The proof is in the pudding..... (so, where's the pudding? Ah, I am truly jaded & cynical.)

I also received a stiff, unhappily offered apology from Dr. Jay Harvey. I am certain it was very difficult for him to apologize. I also feel as if he could have easily made use of the phone or snail mail to have contacted me during the two months that elapsed between our phone conversation and the meeting. How he acted during that conversation was grossly unprofessional.

His side of the story. The young student shows up on rounds, crying uncontrollably. When asked, she states 'a client (yours truly) just abused me on the phone.' Another student pipes up 'clients abuse us *a lot.*'

So, when Harvey -- who tells me he has a daughter -- picks up the telephone, he is in attack ('defense') mode.

I am still flummoxed by this. It's another reason I've been unable to post about the meeting. Abuse? ABUSE? If what I said was abusive, then how would that student categorize how Dr. Harvey spoke to me during our heated exchange?

An explanation: a gzillion years ago, when I worked for the international arm of that Fortune 5 company, I used my own version of shorthand when I was speaking with overseas contacts. Someone who understands real shorthand would look at my scribblings and grimace. My version, however, stood me in good stead for my 13+ years in Corporate America.

In June, suspecting that the White Dog Situation would escalate, I took notes on the conversations I had with Cornell personnel as well as the messages I left.

When I returned to my office after the meeting, I pulled out my notes on the conversation I had with the student. I did not pull any punches. I'm sure my voice was raised. I can also guarantee that I did not swear at, threaten, or in any way abuse her. In fact, I said 'I know you just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. I know that you are just the representative of the vet school. I know this is not your responsibility.'

Somehow, intensity, honesty and directness got interpreted as 'abuse.'

Apparently, the young woman was so distraught she was crying uncontrollably. Apparently, no one could get her to stop. In fact, she was sent home, and one of her rotation mates was sent over later to check on her. She, allegedly, was still shaky and unsettled the next day, because of how abusive I was. All this despite the fact I rung her early that afternoon, and apologized for my intensity.

When I heard Harvey's opening lines to our conversation -- which were, far and away more offensive than anything I said to this student -- I wasn't thinking 'this guy is abusing me.' I was thinking 'this guy is a jerk.'

What will that student do when she does get abused? I don't know how to interpret her reaction. She has 'excellent communication skills' and has been commended for them by vet school personnel. I don't understand her meltdown. She turned into a quivering heap of, well, pudding.

So. When I checked my Discover account on-line this evening, the credit from the vet school had not yet appeared. And I still don't know how to process the information that I received on how that student reacted to my direct, honest comments.

The White Dog is fine. She's bouncy, happy, getting into *everything* and apparently healthy. Good thing (nay, an excellent thing) those vets didn't listen to this caretaker!

Note: added the morning of Friday, August 27: I do believe that Horne will have a refund processed. Early on, I made a silent commitment that should I get a refund, that amount would donated to animal rescue.

Counting

I put a counter on the blog yesterday, on the suggestion of someone who is far more technologically adept than I. Count up over 130 now (9:19 p.m.). When I checked at around noon today, it was hovering near 35.

Why the sudden interest? Is it associated, perchance, with the phone call I made to President Skorton's office?

I spoke with a helpful woman there, to whom I briefly explained my interactions with the vet school staff. I indicated I was sending an email to the president (although I doubt he'll actually read it) and vet school dean, Dr. Kotlikoff. I told her I'd be CC'ing on Dr.'s Harvey and Horne, to prevent them from being blindsided, and to the person who is in charge of development at the Ag School, from where I graduated.

I explained that I'd been working with the person who is the vet school's 'quality service manager,' and that she'd be helpful in arranging a grant to defray some of the expenses.

Skorton's assistant recommended that I also include the provost, and that she'd alert the appropriate personnel that my email was coming through. Perhaps now I will be taken seriously.

I have no expectations of success.

If it occurred, what would success look like? A sincere apology from both good doctors, especially Dr. Harvey. I've had three vet school graduates tell me that he was beloved by all of the students in their classes, that he is a kind and generous man. I hope this is true. I'm not sure why he acted the way he acted with me (perhaps a particularly bad hair day?) but he was offensive to me and threatened the dog.

In addition, in reply to Dr. Harvey's question 'do you want a refund?' my answer is yes.
I told the intake doctor that he had my permission to euthanize the dog if it was anything more than a foreign body. 'We'll call,' he said. I told him he had my permission then, right at that very minute. He needn't call. It should have stopped there.

Instead, he called, when I told him he shouldn't. Both he and (especially) the surgeon failed to give me their educated opinion on the probability of recurrence. The surgeon proceeded with an operation she stated had up to a 50 percent probability of recurrence on a rescue dog.

We now have a rescue dog which has between a 10 and 50 percent chance (depending on who's asked! And who do I believe?) of having another intersussception. She's to be on a special diet with supplements the rest of her life. She also has chronic intermittent diarrhea. Trying to place healthy dogs is -- in the very best of times -- a challenge. Imagine the sales pitch needed for a dog who will have life long diarrhea intermittently. Oh, and this: there's a big chance she'll have a recurrence of the condition, so you may have to decide between another expensive, risky operation and euthanasia.

I don't like conflict. I would prefer to have this situation resolved. I can't help but imagine that in tomorrow's meeting at least two of the participants will be angry and defensive, particularly after reading the email I sent to Skorton et. al.

I suspect it will a 'he said, she said' scenario, with much CYA flying about. It will probably be a wasted hour of accusations and denials, when the entire situation could be resolve within in 3 minutes with this: We are sorry. We accept responsibility. And we're refunding you.

How do I know this won't happen? When I called Dr. Horne's assistant to schedule the meeting, I specifically gave dates and times when I was available. When she rang back, the date was correct, but the time was at the good doctors' convenience.

So much for customer service.

Can't help but add this. In reviewing the bill I received from Cornell, I see that I was charged $35 for a pack of 5 laparotomy sponges. I as a medical professional can purchase those same sponges off the internet for $0.67 each. Even the vet I use locally (a Cornell grad) grimaced when I told him of their charges. "Highway robbery." And all so students can experiment and learn on your animals.

Truth

“If you were a Native American,” one of my students asked recently, “what would have been the difference between Columbus and Hitler?”


Why the Feds Fear Thinkers Like Howard Zinn
http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/why_the_feds_fear_thinkers_like_howard_zinn_20100801/
Posted on Aug 1, 2010
By Chris Hedges