Holy cow

Too much stuff going on -- Zuki + surgery, fight with Cornell, missing Kuro, working my patooties off.

God, I miss my boy.

Friends

Karen offered to pick up Kuro's ashes, and keep them with her father-in-law's, so they can keep each other company. What a kind and generous offer. I accepted: I'm too much of a weenie to do it yet, and I'd rather have him in a house than a vet's office.

She picks them up today.

Going on

I stopped at the local flooring place today, to look at alternatives to the grey-painted OSB I've had as flooring in my house for the past two years. I didn't want to put new floors down if Kuro lost control of his bladder.

I can make the floors pretty now.

I'd rather have Kuro.

Went to Wegman's and found two family-sized packs of hamburger (reduced for quick sale!), which, out of habit, I picked up. Feeding two large dogs a raw diet means I buy a lot of meat.

Except I made chili with one of those packs, after I realized I only have one 4 footed-friend to feed.

I'd rather have Kuro.

I can take Nikka with me to work if it's cool enough. I can get rid of the huge dog bed I have at the foot of my bed, since I can move one of the many smaller downstairs beds upstairs into the same spot, and actually have room to walk around the bedroom. I can put away leashes, his harness, many brushes. The house needs to be vacuumed far less often.

I don't have to clean up poop (sometime diarrhea), wash dog blankets, scour bowls, stock up on supplements, watch where I'm walking so I don't trip myself up or hurt him, strap his harness on or take it off, carry him up or down stairs, worry about having him get into a situation where he's stuck when I'm not home.

I'd rather, by far, have Kuro.

Yep, even with all of these improvements, life still sometimes just sucks.

The garden

I purchased 3 apple trees and a cherry tree this spring. I'm still trying to figure out where to put the last of the apple trees. I *think* I have the mini-orchard plotted out, especially as it turns out I need to obtain another cherry tree. The Agway salesperson neglected to tell me that one needs 2 trees to cross-pollinate cherries. In addition, I didn't know enough to ask.

I'll fence in the area, leaving room in the back for a large flower bed. I've not had much time for gardening the last year or so, because of work, house reno and Kuro care. This will be my Kuro garden.

Because of the yard work I did, I had a good afternoon, despite high humidity and grey skies. Then I took a tarp-ful of weeds to the big mulch heap. K's fur is there, left over from when his Auntie Nancy clipped him on Memorial Day.

Instant misery. I miss my boy.

The only place

Where to Bury A Dog'
The following originally appeared in The Oregonian in
1926 and later was included in the author's book of
essays and poems, "How Could I Be Forgetting."
By Ben Hur Lampman


For if the dog be well remembered, if sometimes he leaps through your dreams actual as in life, eyes kindling, questing, asking, laughing, begging, it matters not at all where that dog sleeps at long and at last. On a hill where the wind is unrebuked and the trees are roaring, or beside a stream he knew in puppyhood, or somewhere in the flatness of a pasture land, where most exhilarating cattle graze. It is all one to the dog, and all one to you, and nothing is gained, and nothing lost -- if memory lives. But there is one best place to bury a dog. One place that is best of all.

If you bury him in this spot, the secret of which you must already have, he will come to you when you call -- come to you over the grim, dim frontiers of death, and down the well-remembered path, and to your side again. And though you call a dozen living dogs to heel they should not growl at him, nor resent his coming, for he is yours and he belongs there.

People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, who hear no whimper pitched too fine for mere audition, people who may never really have had a dog. Smile at them then, for you shall know something that is hidden from them, and which is well worth the knowing.

The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master. >

Smiling & laughing

Today, I spoke to my friends and neighbors about The Big Guy without crying. It's probably due to the amount of endorphins I have pumping through my system after today's pylometric workout (my comments to my trainer: 'I survived.') After the session, I was thinking about Kuro and smiling, remembering how wonderful he was, and thinking that I *will* always, always, always love him.

What I'd give to throw my arms around his neck and over that big furry head with kisses. Rats, I'm teary eyed again. I miss him. Part of me always will.

Someday, some guy who is smart is going to realize what incredibly good care I took of him, and what I did for him as his life wound down. They're going to think 'huh, she'll probably treat ME like that when I'm old....'

So far, the men in my life have been too stupid to twig onto that fact!

Expectations

Just got this email from someone who responded to my CraigsList ad. Holy Moly!

I am interested in the apartment you have posted on craigslist.

I have just been accepted to Cornell and will be beginning my graduate studies there this fall. I am looking for an apartment primarily just for myself, however, my boyfriend will be transferring to his company’s Albany office and will often be visiting on weekends.

I will be relocating to Ithaca from Chicago. My ideal move-in date is August 15, but I do have some flexibility with this. We are planning on being in the area July 8th and 9th and would like to look at available apartments at that time.

Since we are not currently living in New York, any pictures and floor plans you could send would be helpful.

In an effort not waste anyone’s time, here is a list of what I’m looking for in an apartment:

* In the vicinity of the Cornell campus, within walking/biking distance
* 350-700sq.ft
* $500-$700/mo, including utilities
* 1 bedroom, plus 1 office area
* 9ft+ ceiling heights
* Many big, tall, sunny windows
* Balcony, patio or garden space
* Gas stove
* No garden/basement apartments
* No carpet or linoleum flooring - hard wood only
* No dropped acoustical ceiling panels
* In a walkable neighborhood near a park and a grocery store
* In a quiet neighborhood
* Available parking for 1-2 cars

I know it's difficult to work with potential out-of-town tenants, so thank you very much for considering me.

Polite, professional and unrealistic. "Please, I want the perfect apartment that's close to Cornell for very little rent."

Good luck in your search!